My need to RANT!

My RANT

Since I have had prostate cancer and looking for support, I joined some Facebook led support groups.  Prior to the surgery, all I can remember is seeing the negative posts and thinking the worst.  Even after the surgery, it seemed to be doom and gloom.  I stopped following so I would not see the posts that reminds me how bad this disease sucks.

Although, I do not see the updates in my feed, I do still drop in and look at what others are saying.  I began to see a common thread of men or spouses complaining about how things have changed and the entire outlook and mood of the survivor have changed and things were getting worse.  I spoke up and offered my two cents about therapy and seeking help.  Many agreed by liking the post.

I then took it a step further and generated a post.  I tried to post anonymously so keep my name out of the spotlight.  When you do this, the post must be reviewed by the admins to post.  I sent it off with professional references for definitions and the rates of suicide for survivors that cannot bear the results.  I thought it was professionally written and documented for anxiety and depression symptoms and urged everyone to seek professional help.

I also commented about how NOBODY talked about the mental health aspect of losing your ability to have penetrative sex due to the loss of an erection.  That aspect alone plays with a man's mind!  Then you put the word CANCER on top of that and mental health becomes as important as the PSA tests to follow up for the next 3+ years.

What happened when it was submitted you ask?

There was NO WORD back from the admins of the group on my thoughts.  Zero.  Nothing. Nada.

AND

The posts about spouses worried about their mates have been removed from the group postings as well.  I guess as the admin, mental health is a stigma.  Better to not speak of it or warn others about it and let people suffer.  Let marriages fall apart.  Let men suffer from depression and anxiety rather than admit that mental health exists and people need help.  If you don't see it in the group, it does not exist.  Hide your head in the sand.

This is an outrage and a huge disservice to those that the group is supposed to help.  I guess it is perfectly fine to share that you have had your prostate removed and maybe even share the sexual implications of the cancer, but don't discuss mental health.

How hypocritical! Mental health is as important as any other medical issue or maybe even more so as the mind can impact how you heal and how you fight other diseases.  Wake up and speak up about the struggles you face.  It will help others.  Even if it is only ONE man that seeks help, it is worth it!!!

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