On a better track?

On a better track?

Any readers will know the difficulty with a prostatectomy and the sexual difficulty that comes with nasty cancer.  It can rob you of any dignity of being a man.  It can remove your confidence and rattle you to the core.  It is amazing how much is tied to the ability to perform sexually.

The lack of an erection and the ability to satisfy your partner and your self as you have always known is life changing to say the least.  It gets into your head and becomes a focus and the pursuit of anything that may help to recover the nerve damage that occurred with the removal of that small organ.  Trying to find anyone that is qualified to give advice is hard.  The right personality and compassion is not easy.  Not all men have experienced cancer and even fewer have had prostate cancer.  When you do find one that is qualified and compassionate to the situation, do what they say!

For two years I have struggled.  Struggled with an erection, Struggled with my decision. Struggled with my anger.  Struggled to find help in either support groups of professionals.  And finally struggled with my stable 39 year marriage.  There was too much struggling to deal with.  It consumed me. 

I caution anyone about support groups.  They may be useful to talk about things with men in the same boat, but they do have the ability to offer any help or advice other than "this worked for me" type of advice.  I found that very condescending and humiliating.  I felt that I was making too much of my situation and that all I need to do is accept what I have and move on.  People are complicated and very different from each other and what worked for you will not likely work for me.  Find a professional therapist to help!  

With the new therapist, I was urged to find a nurse practitioner (NP) that specializes in psychiatric health and medication.  The therapist and NP are very understanding and explain more about the options than the typical family doctor.  Their knowledge is deeper and can explain it thoroughly.  It was a bit more difficult for me to overcome my own picture of mental health and pharmaceutical help, but I swallowed my uneasiness and have agreed to taking the help.

I am here to admit that it does work.  I am beginning to see a change and feel like I am coming about to right the ship on the correct course.  I will have to wait to see how it goes.  

The moral of the story is to swallow your male pride, ask for professional help, and do what you are told!     

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