New hope?

 I feel that I have made it clear that prostate cancer can really mess with your mind and your own meaning of being a man.  The ability to have an erection and have sex in the traditional sense has been robbed.  I also feel that the medical establishment turns a blind eye to the patient when it comes to sex after surgery.  All combined, it plays to the deepest, darkest fears as a man - not able to perform.  This is not the occasional misfire, but continual, possibly permanent version of that nightmare.

I have also felt that nobody can help with therapy until they have encountered this situation.  I tried various therapists, but at the end of the day, they can return home and enjoy the societal expectation of sex with their partner   That makes it nearly impossible to relate or offer anything to help.  Even if you practice abstinence for a month, you know at the end, you can resume normal sex life.

Now for the good news.

As I was reviewing my order for tri-mix, I noticed a new service offered by the pharmacy for men.  There was a therapist for men dealing with ED or other sexual issues.  I quickly typed up my email summarizing my story and current situation.  My email must have sounded very desperate.  I get a quick reply and a request to talk further.  I arranged a call and we talked for over an hour!  Turns out my luck was changing.  I found and was talking with a therapist that has gone through the same surgery and had the same frustrations with life.  That helped him decide to obtain the credentials to offer therapy to those of us suffering in the same way.  It has been a godsend to find a therapist that can help!

He as able to confirm my feelings about societal expectations and imagery relating to sex.  He also confirmed that my frustration with the surgeon is normal.  They do not care that you are not happy and are very willing to do more surgery to put an implant in to fix it all.  He also convinced me to stand up and demand bi-mix since tri-mix hurt so much.

Things were turning around, but I was still frustrated and it came out with my wife.  That frustration torpedoed anything the medicine was capable of.  I would inject and within a few minutes of a semi-erection, my mind wandered and BOOM, it was gone.  Still more work to do!

It has taken two years to find someone that can help.  I hope this was the end of this nightmare and can now sleep peacefully again.  

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