Prostate Cancer SUCKS

  Well I overcame my personal fears and the a$$hole in my head that was beating me up for being a coward.  The new injector and some ice as I was directed worked great.  I just pushed teh button and did not think about it too much.  No I just have to keep that mindset into the future! As proud of my inner self for not listening, it was not quite the same for either of us.  It has been far too long and too many changes in my body.  Not to say it was a disappointment, but rather a change that I was not expecting. It just seems like this has become a joke to someone somewhere and I am not finding the same humor as they are.  I was enjoying my newly found life as an aware male that was now focusing on my partner.  I finally got it through my thick skull that I am not the center of the universe at those times.  It is a we, not a me.  Sometimes more them than we!  I finally figured it out and now it has all changed!  Not a funny joke...

 I never played football or many sports at all, but I am a football fan.  There are two NFL teams that have my heart and I follow year to year.  The reason these two teams are near and dear is perhaps they were once cities or areas where I lived.  The other may be the coaches uttered sayings that are now stuck in my head and my goto sayings when things get tough. The first mantra that is my ear worm is from New Orleans Saints coach Jim Mora,  He is the coach that started the franchise turn around that was known at the time as the Ain'ts because of the losing season year after year.  Jim was bold in the local media and his one saying that is now stuck is during an interview he said "The difference is winners don't say woulda, coulda, shoulda."   I try to say that when that little A$$hole in my head starts to talk smack about my situation and how he keeps looking back and doing the what if scenarios.  I TRY to tell that A$$hole to stop that the...