Eight Months Post Surgery

 As one gets older, time seems to fly.  Time flies until you have a life changing diagnosis that makes you adapt to a whole new personal life.  As a guy, I am not used to sharing much with anyone, except my wife.  Even that is very difficult with all of this crap.  As a guy of my age, you were supposed to stop crying, suck it up, and be a man.  Now, 50+ years later, all you can do is cry.  The world has been turned upside down and it all happened overnight!




As I previously stated many times, I am impatient with all of this healing.  I have had joint replacements that healed quicker (seemingly, but reality says, my knee is STILL numb after 5 years).  The upside to all of this is a lesson learned in how to wait and be more patient - I think.  With therapy and acupuncture, I am not as anxious about everything and my stress level about stupid people SEEMS to be better.  Don't get me wrong, there are still times when I am set off and MUST walk away to breathe deep fro a bit and then come back to pick things up when I am thinking clearer.  I am getting better about talking to my wife and others about anything, so I am seeing subtle changes.  Don't get me wrong, I am still resentful that all of this happened, but that shipped has sailed and the ropes have broken from the moorings.  She has left, never to return.

There are many things that have helped and confirmed that I am on the proper path, I guess...  I disucssed my diagnosis, issues, and my research findings with a sexual wellness MD and she confirmed all of my findings.  It appears I am on the correct path and working to do all I can do to return to my formal normal.  Many of my resources are public and accessible by everyone.

I found a few thereapists from Australia that are very vocal and public about mens' sexual health post prostate cancer and in particular post prostatectomy.  The first one I found that started my journey was a site called "A Touchy Subject".  Visit the site and sign up for the free stuff.  Victoria will email links, tips, and videos to help you along the rehab and recovery path.  Find the products in your country as they are high quality and tested for you and your recovery process (unlike the Amazon stuff).  It does make a difference!

There is another resource from Australia that the local doctor also knew called the "Penis Project".  This site and the two ladies have a weekly podcast all about penile recovery after cancer (and some other diagnosis).  I find it very helpful most of the time.

The last resource from Australia is another lady who helps men recover from cancer diagnosis.  Her perspective is unique as she suffers from breast cancer and is currently undergoing active treatment.  She speaks about intimacy from a personal level.  Her book is a quick read and offers many insights that, if nothing else, allows you to see that you are not the only one feeling the way you do and justifies your feelings.  Tess's book can be purchased on Amazon.

There are also US based groups, but as I stated before, like Facebook groups, they are usually the ones that complain or have issues that you wish not to hear about.  Be careful with those groups as they can bring you down fast.  Some of the nationwide groups are "Us Too".  There is also another podcast (but has not been updated for a few months) from "Zero Prostate Cancer".  The network formerly known as Gilda's Club may have men's support groups in a city near you too.  Check their website for any details.

The short story here is...GUYS, GET HELP ANY WAY YOU CAN!  INCLUDE YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!  REACH OUT AND ASK FOR HELP FORM OTHERS!!! Most importantly, keep up your hope and try not to let it get you down (for too long)

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