The elephants in the room...

 


OK, so I have survived the surgery, but there are still many elephants in the room that are created as a result of the survery to remove the prostate.  These were all discussed at some point by medical staff, but with all the overwhelming emoutions and feelings, you may not have paid attention and now they are affecting your lifestyle!

  • Urinary incontinance.  This is usually noticed as soon as they remove the cathetor.  In fact, you are told to bring pads, or provided a pad to wear to get yourself home.  I remember  having my son take me to the appointment.  I later shared the experience and the strong potential for leakage according to all the information I read.  He was a little upset as I had taken an extra bed pad for the seat, just in case...  He was not happy that the leakage could happen in his new car!  The good news is that with excercise, this can typically be overcome, just needs patience!
  • Erectile Dysfunction.  This is (forgive the not so pun) the hard one.  There are many ideas about this from others who have gone before, but it is a real game changer and can affect your mental health along with affecting your relationship.  The solutions offered or provided can involve mechanical help or pharmacutical help.  
Then there is the one nobidy talked about before your treatments....

The reality that you have been diagnosed withe CANCER!  Nobody can prepare you for this one.  It is an onging and forever reality.  There is a quarterly reminder as you get your blood test to check PSA levels and HOPE that they are still in the safe range!  This one is compounded as you search for answers and begin reading more and more.  As you read, you find those of us who have low PSA levels for years, only to have it spike all of a sudden.  It makes you stop and think of your own mortality and how fragile life really is.  Unless you have a life changing experience, you never really think about death - you are young (physically and mentally) and nothing can stop you!  Now that has changed and it comes up continually now that you have a cancer diagnosis.  

Again, as I have been saying all along - you need to talk to others.  You need to have that conversation with your special people in your life as well as professionals as you (or others) see fit.  Don't sit on it and squash it down.  You cannot contain these feelings.  They will spill out all over the place at the wrong time and place.  Open up and share your feelings and fears.  There are too many side effects of keeping it all in and toughing it out.  Men need to talk with others (family, friends, or professionals).  This is not normal for MOST men.  It needs to become accepted and normalized!  Talk about your prostate health.  Encourage others to get a simple blood test - insist to your doctor to get the test!  The earlier, the better, even if it becomes your baseline.  

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