VALIDATION!!

 If you have been following my journey and blog posts, you will find some lingering questions about this diagnosis and surgery.  What is left after all the news and changes feels like a hollow being.  I am engrained with my past and the memories of what I thought a man should be, but all the physical changes, although all positive to "cure" prostate cancer have left me questioning everything I knew.

I also have strongly recommended that anyone going through this talk to a professional and seek guidance to stay on track.  I have done just that, but still left feeling hollow and alone.  Even the men's groups of those that have travelled the same journey left me feeling isolated and alone.  

Let's break it down.

The professionals know how to fix you, but typically do not know what you are going through.  You can talk and describe it, but in the end, you still feel these feelings.  They DO help.  I cannot imagine not having the help when I needed it, but I still felt something was missing.

The men's groups that I have visited are typically a small core of older guys who have been treated years ago.  There are very few men of my younger age that I can relate to or those men to me.  They typically discuss their relationships with each other in the meeting.  Kind of like a real in person Facebook feed scroll.  Tell the group how you feel and then move on.  When you do stray outside the conversation and try to introduce a personal feeling (like sexual issues), like Facebook, the topic wanders and very quickly you are getting advice you never even asked for!  So like Facebook, I just clammed up and scrolled through my feed (or meeting).

I was feeling even more isolated UNTIL I came across a podcast series.  In these ongoing conversations with prostate cancer survivors, they dive right into the sexual aspects of the disease!  There was one conversation in particular that brought me to tears.  The guest validated all my feelings!!  This was the first time I heard another survivor talk about the EXACT feelings I was feeling.  

   IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME!!

Now that I have sung the praises, here is the link to the podcast.  In particular was episode #4 when Chris Hartley expressed the exact same feelings I feel.  I could not believe my ears.  I was validated and my feelings were typical and felt by others.  Only a man that has travelled the same path can speak those words and be believed by other survivors.  You should listen to all of the podcasts.  They are very informative for survivors and will help with your personal journey to adjust to this life saving, yet life changing procedure.

Again, I go back to Ted Lasso - the show is GREAT!  Hearing this podcast, I equate Roy Kent returning to the pitch to my journey back to a healthy life.  Take control and know that MANY others feel the same and have evolved into a NEW man.




 

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