Dashing through the shit
Following up on yesterday's post, this time of the year is hard enough, but throw cancer and the side effects of the treatment options, hormonal changes, and anything else (like the kitchen sink) and this time of the year can be damn depressing. The cancer news hits hard when you hear it, but it is nothing compared to what your mind goes through with the treatment. It can make you ball up inside yourself and not discuss anything ever again. On top of that, the discussions that need to happen are HARD as we never had to talk about sex when one of us is incapable of having sex in the normal way (as it had been for 40+ years). I know in my mind that this is not true and there are other ways, but we NEVER had to have these in depth conversations and never had so much emotion tied to one subject! Almost 2 years now since the cancer was removed, I still feel like a shell of a person, let alone a man. I cannot seem to do anything right. It seems in my mind that I ...